Thursday, July 25, 2013

80. Only Human


This might end up in the third book of The Historian's Archives, but it's for the 100 themes challenge. The prompt was "Only Human" 

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“You’re only human,” he told her solemnly, not bothering to look at her as he spoke. No, he was too occupied with the sketch book sitting on his lap; and he was only talking to her, after all, why waste his time sparing her a glance as he pointed out what he obviously felt to be her greatest shortcoming. 
                
She gave him a look that she hoped would burn his skin clean off his muscles and bones. “You like to throw that at me, don’t you? Despite all of this stuff that you claim I’m supposed to be able to do, all of these reasons why I have to fulfill your list of requirements, you’re quick as fuck to throw my species back in my face whenever it suits you.” 
                
The vampire shrugged and rotated the pencil and wedge eraser in his hand so that he could correct the paper. Then he switched the positions of the two utensils again, and continued drawing. “You remind me of it often enough when you want to make excuses for why you shouldn’t have to do what you were clearly made to do, and yet you’re awfully quick to forget it when it comes to something that you want to do.” 
                
 Now he did look up at her, mis-matched eyes meeting hers in a steady, calm gaze. “I can put emphasis on key words, too, Ophelia. Your oratorical strategies have no effect on me.” 
                
The woman threw her hands in the air. “Never mind.” 
                
 “Don’t worry, I had no plans to.” 
                
They sat in silence that would have been worlds more comfortable if the woman weren’t radiating bitterness and something precariously close to hatred in the general direction of her companion. But the vampire, despite being acutely aware of the woman’s emotions, made no attempt to ease the tension between them. For better or worse, he was content to let her stew in her own dissatisfaction. 
                
 The woman, it seemed, was considerably less so. 
                
“It’s my damn life, Cavan. That’s the difference. It should be my choice what I do with it, what my responsibilities are, where I go and who with and why. I’m not your daughter, your sister—hell, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not even your friend—and I’m sure as a pixie’s tiny bulbous bottom not your responsibility. You shouldn’t get to swan into my world and tell me that I have to do A and B for the rest of my life, but that I’m not allowed to do C and D because it’s not my place—not even if I happen to have some freaky-deaky powers that no one has had in however many years.” 
                
Scritch—scritch—scritch…
                
 The damned pencil scribbling its way across the paper was her only answer, and she wanted to take his sketch book and beat him over the head with it. “Did you hear me, damn it?” 
              
“Yes, mother, I heard you.” 
              
She had just enough time to wonder if the man was determined to out-tone her every time she opened her mouth before the vampire put the book and the pencil down on the table next to his chair. To the woman’s disappointment, she couldn’t see what had been so damn interesting that he practically ignored her presence throughout the entire conversation. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on who you were, she didn’t have time to reflect on the dark blob of an image that she couldn’t quite make out, because the vampire began talking. 

“Your problem is that you still think that you live in the same cutesy, safe little world that you’ve been floating around in for the last twenty-something years. The world where you teach ballet for pennies that you save up so that you can earn a degree in the performing arts one measly class at a time—yeah, I know about that; I did my homework—unlike you, by the way. You still don’t know shit about how to control those powers of yours, and you’ve made a big show of not using them—“ 

“To fight some creepy crawly dream critter? Of course I haven’t, and you’re damn near crazy if you think I will!” 

“Honey, I’m a lot of things, but crazy isn’t one of them. Unfortunately.” 

“You’re such an asshole.”

“You’re changing the subject.”  He was looking at her intently, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. She couldn’t read his expression. Frankly, she didn’t know if she wanted to. 

“You think I’m selfish,” she said dourly. 

“No, I think you’re irresponsible. You think you’re selfish—no, obviously you do, or you wouldn’t have accused me of thinking you were.” He raised a hand to stop her from arguing. “I think that you haven’t yet developed an understanding of why it’s important that you take what you’ve been given and actually use it to its full potential, to do what you were actually given the gift to do.” 

“You want me to do that because you think that it will make your job easier.” It was hard to keep the accusation out of her voice, especially when he began to smile at her mid-sentence. 

“Of course I do, darling. I don’t want to keep running around cleaning up after the same beastie which could easily be killed if I could actually get into the Dreamscape to kill it.” He opened his hands and made a small shrugging motion. “But the fact is that it’s just something you were meant to do; call yourself Buffy if that’s what gets you through the day, but don’t live your life being dragged into one supernatural mess after another, always surprised by it because you’re still convincing yourself that things like that just don’t happen to people like you.” He sat back again, picked up the sketchbook and continued drawing.  “I would have thought that you’d want to put yourself in control of your situation.” 

The words hung between them for a few breaths. 

“It’s just a lot to ask of me,” she said quietly, bringing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She put her chin on her knees and watched the vampire as he continued to scribble. “I mean, you’re asking me to put myself in prominent danger every time someone has a bad dream. How the hell am I supposed to actually get any sort of sleep at night myself if suddenly I have to worry about everyone else’s nightmares, too? I mean, sure, some of my abilities are really nifty; who wouldn’t want to teleport some place instead of spending three hours on a plane? But overall…I mean…It’s not like I’m immortal or harder to kill…I’ve never weighed more than a hundred and twenty-five pounds in my life, I’ve only just begun learning basic self-defense, and you’re asking me to take on monsters that could be twice my size, more magically attuned than I’ll ever be, and harder to kill than a grizzly when I only have a pocket knife. I mean, I don’t know if it’s escaped your notice or anything, but I’m only—“ she paused and pursed her lips. 

Cavan, to his credit, said nothing. 




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